Another Ski Weekend Served with a Side of Societal Pressure

Posted: January 12th, 2008 | Author: Marissa K. | Filed under: | No Comments »

Nate and I are spending this weekend in Portland with his sister and brother-in-law. We’re headed to Mt. Hood for a couple days of skiing, mixing up the downhill with a day of cross-country. Typically with Nopo Girl and Barkernews (names reflect their blog ID’s), we’d wake up at 5:30 a.m. in order to book it up to the mountain and be ready before the lifts open.

Nopo Girl and Barkernews are patrollers on Mt. Hood, so they’re used to being first on the slopes. Even if they’re not on duty, they’re still trying to catch fresh tracks. But this year is different.

This year, Nopo Girl is pregnant. She’s nearly 10 weeks along and is taking every precaution, which means that she’s omitted downhill skiing from her list of activities. Since this pregnancy isn’t without risk, my über-active sister-in-law has scaled her life down to the degree that her heart rate doesn’t get above 140—doctor’s orders. No more ski patrol (she sits in the first-aid hut), no more downhill skiing, no more bike races, no more jogging… you get the point.

We learned of her happy circumstance on Christmas Eve at the dinner table. In the weeks leading up to Christmas, two other couples in our social circle shared news of their pregnancies. Shortly after Christmas, we learned that three other friends are pregnant. Two of my co-workers are new fathers.

The baby hose is out, and we’re being doused with it.

Oddly, none made me feel quite as anxious as Nopo Girl’s news. More than the joy felt for Nopo Girl and Barkernews, more than the excitement that I’ll be an aunt, more than the realization that the Kaiser-family dynamics will fundamentally change, I felt pressure. When Nate asked me to define this pressure and share with him where this pressure comes from, all I could answer was “society.”

Societal pressure to have a baby is now bearing down on me.

It’s totally a false perception on my part, and I know that, but here’s my rationale from hearing Nopo Girl’s news: Someone whom I feel very close to, someone whom I identify with, someone whom I felt is equally selfish about lifestyle and freedom is giving it all up to have a baby. I realize this perspective is short-sighted and probably immature, but it’s an honest portrayal of my reaction.

I love the lifestyle that Nate and I have developed. We ski, we travel, we keep crazy hours, we work hard and we play hard. We’re not dependent on any one or anything, and our lives are largely dictated by our own whims. This lifestyle is, in part, mimicked after Nopo Girl and Barkernew’s lifestyle. And now that’s going to change. My peers are now having kids.

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