Kaiser-Family Christmas
Posted: December 2nd, 2007 | Author: Nathan K. | Filed under: | No Comments »This weekend, on December 1st, the Kaiser family celebrated Christmas. Yes, it’s early—too early—to celebrate a holiday that causes retail-driven nightmares in most of the masses, but I’m pleasantly surprised at how the whole thing went over. The first snowfall of the season hit just in time to give us a white “Christmas,” or whatever you want to call it. And, no matter what the date, I always have a good time with the Kaiser clan.
A memorable component of every Kaiser gathering is the amount of protein on the meal table. This holiday was no different, with three kinds of steaks and Alaskan king crab for lunch (with a side of salad and rice pilaf for those Kaisers interested in maintaining a balanced diet) and ham for dinner. As I’ve learned in just a couple of years, ham is ALWAYS served on “Christmas eve,” even if “Christmas eve” takes place on Dec. 1. Complimenting the ham is ALWAYS potato salad (my mother-in-laws traditional recipe), steamed broccoli and some crazy concoction of fruit, nuts, sour cream and Jello that Nate fondly refers to as “scary Jello.” Yum! Makes you want to try it, doesn’t he?
[I wish we’d taken a picture of it—especially for my mom. My mom loves taking pictures with the food!]
Another memorable component of a Kaiser-family Christmas is the dreaded picture with Santa Claus. Even though all the Kaiser kids are grown, we still take pictures with Santa. It’s a bit embarrassing to have the six of us stand in line, joking our cruel jokes and sharing our snide opinions, surrounded by a bunch of little ones who are so eager to see Santa. I think we probably ruin it for some of the parents, who’d rather not wait behind a bunch of obnoxious adults.
But I also think the “elves” find it amusing, since we give some comic alternative to the crying kids. Oh, and Santa likes it—in a slightly perverted and gross kind of way. This year, they had me sit on Santa’s lap and the old geezer wouldn’t let me go! When he asked me what I wanted for Christmas, I pointed at Nate and said, “He’s all I want; and I got him!”
I’d hoped Santa would get the hint and let me go, but instead, he gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. Creepy.
The best part of Kaiser-family Christmas, by far, is the roaring laughter that erupts from any part of the gathering where more than two Kaisers are gathered together. The best example comes from my eighteen-year-old brother-in-law who poetically wrote on my husband’s birthday card (and, yeah, Nate’s birthday is in JULY),
“Nate, I know I’m a little late on this birthday greeting. Sorry. Procrastination is like masturbation—you think you’re having a good time when suddenly you realize that you’ve screwed yourself. Happy Birthday.”
We were in stitches.
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